Post Traumatic Food Disorder

It is safe to say that my sugar free cravings and side effects have all gone. I definitely feel much better overall. There have been lots of temptations along the way but I have avoided them! Giving myself a target has definitely been a great motivation for this journey. I cannot believe that I have gone this far without drinking diet coke. Drinking water every night didn’t feel natural at first but now I just fill a glass from the tap without thinking!

I have also not had a proper dessert since I started this. The closest I came to having a dessert was a sugar free all natural banana bread, it didn’t feel like a dessert! I can see weight coming off the scales, but more importantly I can feel my clothes loosening. At Christmas even my baggiest clothes were feeling tight and that scared the shit out of me.

One evening my girlfriend decided to indulge in some cadburys chocolate. Cadburys chocolate is my weakness, it was such a cruel thing to do! But guess what! I DIDN’T HAVE ANY! My will power is getting very strong now. Whatever happens next, I know that I don’t have to be greedy and there is always an option to say no to things that are bad for me.

I know though that next week I am going to birthday parties in restaurants and that will be a new challenge. I am not sure if it is possible for me to pick something healthy or not? I want to try my hardest. In restaurants they tend to sneak in posts of hidden calories so I’m not sure. They’re both Italian restaurants so maybe an Italian Salad with no cheese? It’s like having chicken Kiev with no breadcrumbs or garlic butter!

I know that this can’t go on forever. Life is too short to COMPLETELY deprive myself of things I enjoy. I have decided I want to have something bad soon. I am conscious though that having something bad doesn’t mean opening the flood gates to eat every bad thing in site. I believe that a discipline would be to have something bad and then to revert back to this sugar free diet. I don’t want to turn into one of those health freaks that have tofu three times a day and weigh 2 stone.

I need something food wise to look forward to which is naughty but I don’t know what this is yet. If anyone has any tips on dieting when in restaurants I want to hear them!


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